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Friday, August 19, 2005

RESIGNATION.....

I want to rest forever in an eternal sleep,
I have walked long enough....the path ahead is steep,
Why don't you take this consciousness away,
the realization that as long as I live..I have to walk an unknown way
Why can't this present moment freeze....why can't I escape into infinity,
Why can't I be freed of all these bonds..this helplessness I pity.
Take away all knowledge....ignorance is bliss,
When you begin to understand what pain is....then painful everything is.
I do not wish to see....I do not wish to hear,
the sounds of defeats...visions of fear.
I cannot ignore the ignominy that accompanies grace
I often forget the happy moments....but the pain always stays.
I do appreciate the beauty you created.....your gift of life ,
but the dark clouds often hide the sun.....the endless cosmic strife.
I no longer wish to be a presence...dissolve me into the night,
no difference will then exist....between darkness and light.
Take away this sense of "feeling" and perception,
responsibilities,dreams,desires,expectations....free me from this web of deception.
Give me back that pure happiness and oblivion ....I want to return to my childhood,
back to the city of angels.....in my dreams where I stood
revert my steps.....give me back the innocence that time took away,
lighten me of this burden that I carry.....with earnestness I pray.
I have no more words to write....I want to struggle no more,
send all my thoughts away.....purify the inner core.
In the darkness of the night....I resign my "inner" darkness to thee,
I yearn for the light of the dawn .....when these conflicts of thoughts will cease to be.

1 comment:

kaps said...

Hi Abhivyakti!

I wonder if these lines, which imply and illustrate the disillusioned state of mind of the narrator, truly display your own inner feelings or whether it is a fictitious creation in which you assume the role of someone who has this escapist attitude?
It will be difficult to agree to the former, for from someone who writes so full of confidence and exuberance –

“Be the gaze that holds the horizon far,
Be the confidence guarded by destiny's power.”

(OF DREAMS AND EXPECTATIONS...)

It is queer that a ‘resignation’ is observed. I don’t know what incident (if there ever was) triggered these thoughts, I sincerely wish (and infact am pretty sure that you did) that you recover from these negative approaches asap, and recognize, realize and relish (as always) the inherent beauty of this life and mother nature.

Tc and GBU :)

Kapil