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Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Through seasons and moods..

"....I realise that I do not understand what or who can fill this inner void..this little voice of dissatisfaction drowns everyday amidst
the so many conversations I have or the day-to-day activities that I engage in ..but nevertheless it is always there, to remind me that somewhere an inner
equilibrium needs to be achieved."

The only leaf on a bare tree ,the last one to leave,
How long is she going to stay, how long can the winter she deceive

A different blend, new shades
to give in to change, the autumn fades

From a quiet autumn , to a quieter winter cold,
From the first step..a continuation to a journey untold..
A change... in every passing moment..of a mysterious flickering light,
Like a silence..disturbed every instant..still pretending to be quiet

Equilibrium is a mirage one can never reach,
The laws of equanimity we unconsciously always breach,
for there is a beautifully insane dynamism that operates,
something striking about the way the conundrum iterates..
Stability is a myth, because there is a constant spur
The winds change direction ...the leaves incoherently murmur..
In this momentum, it is rather difficult to pause and think
To understand the "why" underlying everything, to justify every link
This is an endless mystery..the gradual unfolding of time
Like the unrestrained flow of water ..sans reason or rhyme
Silent spectators and participants we our own sense,
to the many beginnings and unending conclusions that again commence,
Little dreams scattered amidst patterns of reality that form each day
Sometimes lost...sometimes a few manage to find the way..
An inner and outer world coexist in a struggle for harmony..
In weaving our definitions of self..a composition ..a symphony becomes difficult to appreciate this constant unrest,
Moods that swing to the negative to its unexplained behest
The inner music that goes out of synchronism
as chaos sometimes maligns this benign dynamism
The seasons seem unreasonable and the winter far too white
The sky too cloudy and mornings no more bright..

But,it must come full circle ..the purpose and the meaning
From a defeated winter with bare a flower laden spring
An appreciation ,as through a usual day I cruise
Of this unfailing optimism which in spite of everything I amuse,
I try to paint my own picture..I try to gather the hues,
I attempt to achieve a balance..I struggle to shun away the blues..

Of all I grasp, of all I see..
Through seasons and I continue to be,
I ponder and think..and my eternal questions I address
In all this somewhere..Lies my quest for an 'indefinable happiness'