SHE IS ...

she is intelligence..she is grace,
she is the greatness... few understand or praise.
she is the truth...uninhibited and pure.
she is the restraint ..no desires can lure.
she is pride with defiance...
she is submission with compliance.
she is the darkness in the light,
she is the only star in the moonless night,
she is calmness and tranquility,
she is tumult and activity
she is without words and expression,
she is the most well written description
she is the victory of the lands,
she is the disgrace of the sands.
she is the one who reigns and leads.
she is the vanquished who for mercy pleads
she is the beauty..natural and innate,
she is the false illusion gods create
she is power and strength...the indomitable might,
she is the soft aura of a flickering candle light.
she is the eyes that speak in silence,
she is the quiet endurance that bears all violence.
she is the tears that are hard to hide,
she is the happiness held secretly inside.
she is the spiritual air of devotion,
she is the most vividly expressed emotion,
she is the care ...the warmth around,
she is the pain in a neglected wound.
she is the turbulence...of the storms inside,
she is the serenity of the moon...by which the tides abide.
she is the pristine laughter from the heart,
she is the deliberate smile when we part.
she is the uncomplicated simplicity ,
she is the simplest complexity
she is in the lessons of life that she would teach.
she is in the depths of the meaning that none can reach.
she is the beginning of an end,
she is the destination just beyond the bend.
she is in me...she is in you,
she is in life's complete view...
she is the soul...thoughless and impeccable ,
she is the being...thoughtful and fallible
I cannot continue the journey with her,
I close my eyes....my visions blur.
she goes away....in her veiled charisma,
she is , indeed, the greatest enigma.
I hold a part of her in me...yet there is something I miss,
I am too humble to define...what she " really" is..

RESIGNATION.....

I want to rest forever in an eternal sleep,
I have walked long enough....the path ahead is steep,
Why don't you take this consciousness away,
the realization that as long as I live..I have to walk an unknown way
Why can't this present moment freeze....why can't I escape into infinity,
Why can't I be freed of all these bonds..this helplessness I pity.
Take away all knowledge....ignorance is bliss,
When you begin to understand what pain is....then painful everything is.
I do not wish to see....I do not wish to hear,
the sounds of defeats...visions of fear.
I cannot ignore the ignominy that accompanies grace
I often forget the happy moments....but the pain always stays.
I do appreciate the beauty you created.....your gift of life ,
but the dark clouds often hide the sun.....the endless cosmic strife.
I no longer wish to be a presence...dissolve me into the night,
no difference will then exist....between darkness and light.
Take away this sense of "feeling" and perception,
responsibilities,dreams,desires,expectations....free me from this web of deception.
Give me back that pure happiness and oblivion ....I want to return to my childhood,
back to the city of angels.....in my dreams where I stood
revert my steps.....give me back the innocence that time took away,
lighten me of this burden that I carry.....with earnestness I pray.
I have no more words to write....I want to struggle no more,
send all my thoughts away.....purify the inner core.
In the darkness of the night....I resign my "inner" darkness to thee,
I yearn for the light of the dawn .....when these conflicts of thoughts will cease to be.

OF DREAMS AND EXPECTATIONS...

"Though you guard it well,
what destiny does not decree disappears.
Though you cast it aside ,
what fate calls yours,
does not depart."

What intrigues me most is not of the "outer" world around,
rather it is the inner tumult...dreams and expectations abound.
If you give me hopes ...that may enlighten my way,
then before I reach the bend...just don't go away.
give me faith...forever.....be the guiding light.
I do not desire the rainbows you weave...bathe me in the tranquil white.
What of a bright flash that dies long before dawn arrives,
Be the faint star whose flickering flame unto sunrise survives.
Be the gaze that holds the horizon far,
Be the confidence guarded by destiny's power.
Be the meaning that echoes beneath the words I speak,
Be that innate strength that makes the "outer" evils weak,
Be the greatness gracefully veiled ,
Be the acceptance of what fate had long ago sealed,
Be not the shallowness whose depth I may soon forget,
Be not the misguided steps which I may later reget,
Be not a moment that will always haunt,
Be not the painful memory of what I did want,
There are infinite ways in which to be or not to be,
The innumerable shades of the "greyness" of life..with open eyes I fail to see,
How do I convey...that happiness that accompanies pain,
The water that flows free...despite the fragments of shattered porcelain.
To these unclear perspectives of my mortal mind, grant the assurance that I need,
not the knowledge of what "should" be or not be.....rather what "shall" by you be
decreed.

YOU...UNDEFINED...

Who are you?
are you my reflection.. my core ,my values crystallized unto perfection
are you the "rightness" imbibed in me,
or the thoughts which I never let free
are u an illusion...an optimistic perception,
a dream conjured by my mind, a self-deception
I do not know what blurs my view,
the fading hues of twilight or the early morning dew.
as the night amalgamates into the day and day into night,
I question the eternal contradictions...good and evil..wrong and right.
are you the innocent wonder in the eyes of a child,
or the unappreciated beauty of the flowers that blossom in the wild
are you the irresolute air of conflict....submission with defiance,
or the sacred,unfathomable ..the sounds of silence.
are you the pristine laughter that shines through eyes,
or the very first tears..when a newborn cries
are you the fears buried deep inside,
or the celebration of a lifelong victory..."the day all sorrows died".
were you the first step that I took
or the shadows that walked along....though I would pretend not to look
are you the secrets in the folded fist of a newborn
or the gnarled hand of an old man.......lines on the palm deep and worn
are you the sheer glory of a starlit night
or the vain attempt to shield my eyes...when blinded by too bright a light
are you like water..transparent and clear,
or my misty memories ......fading yet dear.
it is a vain attempt to bind you to descriptions,I know
I lack the insight to perceive you..mere words continue to flow.
to all the unanswered questions ,the mysteries that have intrigued,
to all that exists..good or bad..to life..to whatever I have believed,
I have only one answer.....an answer beyond my judgement and mind,
its simply you..... you "undefined".

THE REASON THAT I SHOULD "BE".........

How long will I live?
How long "should" I live.....I sometimes wonder,
How many "laughters",how much pain.....do I struggle or surrender?
I move with the stream ..the flow drives me on,
I think of moments ..ahead and bygone..
Why am I here ,what is this life for,
Will the tides guide my destiny....will I ever steer myself to the shore?
Sometimes I ponder .....what is bliss,
In this everyday life of mine...what do I really miss,
What makes me happy....what makes me cry,
What do I assimilate..as the days pass by.
What is the goal ...the ultimate aim,
or is it merely the days I have to live.....just the eternal "game".
What do I miss.....something that is dear,
or is it just remembering ...what is not near.
Why am I sad....because probably I think too much,
for I weave this web of thorns around....there "is" no pain as such.
When I look at the night sky....adorned with stars,
I feel humbled and awed...the celestial powers.
What have you willed that I now "will" have to live,
How much of what I took do I now have to give..
Speak the story of my life...tell me what you wrote,
its only the echo of my own voice here...unknowingly i float,
Show me the path that I must tread,
give me the inner strength that I need,
You hold the strings I know....define "my" meaning to me,
Justify my existence here...the one "reason that I should be".