Am I the constant unreasonable fear that haunts,
in times of happiness.....the apprehension of future that taunts.
Sometimes it seems I do not know "me",
those eyes are mine....yet I do not choose what to see.
Sometimes I feel it is a lifelong discovery,
to understand and comprehend all the shades of "me" completely,
My story has a new chapter everyday
people and circumstances change...with memories I stay.
Sometimes I want to read myself like a book..
to wander in the lands of my thoughts and dreams...and take an inward look.
If "me" were a character that I had to define,
to look at "me"...from a distant view...as if nothing of "me" is mine.
It is so easy to pass judgement on others this way,
but when it comes to "me"..it becomes a difficult say.
"me" is the worst..."me" may be better ,
"me" may make it to the end..."me" may falter.
"me" tries to be good...."me" tries to smile,
yet something disturbs her..the happiness lasts only a while.
"me" is madness sometimes.."me" is sensibility
"me" is silly dreams....."me" is reality.
"me" is so easy to understand...willing to give and accept,
"me" is so unknown ....in well guarded secrets that are kept.
Sometimes "me" doesn't know anything.
Sometimes "me" knows everything.
"me" knows a tough way ahead lies,
in little things to seek happiness..."me" often tries.
"me" thinks..maybe she can..try and achieve,
"me" holds on forever...what she decides to believe
It seems "me" is two people together,
Sometimes one of them speaks...sometimes the other.
There is a "me" to the world...and another to those who know,
only one "me" speaks to everybody...the other to a few only ,will show.
It is a complex conundrum...two selves entwined,
Who the real "me" is...is difficult to find...
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1 comment:
Hi Abhivyakti!
A magnificent string of thoughts to delve into one’s definition – I truly acknowledge and agree now, that busy in evaluating others, often we people don’t even know ourselves… The way you insinuate is immaculate for I’ve found that like in She Is, Of Dreams and Expectations and You Undefined earlier, you are adept at exploring the breadth, the variation, the diversification of topics. The part about double personality is immediately acceptable, however, I humbly say that we may live sooo many role in life (as per Shakespeare too), we are, one – and there are Always some things, some people, some values in life which are always true to us, no matter what the situation is.
Tc :)
Kapil
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