SOMETIMES.....

sometimes...
i want to break free,
i want to choose what my life will be,
i want to be lost and never be found,
i want to be the disappointment of the unheard sound,

sometimes...
i want to keep forever the moment that just passed away ,
i want tears to explain what i have never been able to say,
i do not want to take a step ahead,
i just want to close my eyes and simply be led,

sometimes..
i want to escape into my dreams for a while,
i want to feel the exhaustion of walking a long mile,
i want to live the reality that can never be,
to flow like water...uninhibited and free...

sometimes..
i want to be devoid of all awareness,
i want even the slight shadows to be engulfed by darkness
i want to be that moment of sudden realization ,
when lightning strikes suddenly..the short-lived illumination

sometimes...
i want to be the joys that i often desire and always miss,
i want to know the meaning of happiness..the secret of bliss.
i want to be the unusual quiet before a storm,
i want to be the fate of words to which thoughts give depth and form....

sometimes...
i want to be a lifeless painting hung on a wall,
i want to be the last journey of the autumn leaves as they fall,
i want to exist in the perfect sphere of a drop of rain,
i want to ponder why i sometimes seem to like pain...

sometimes...
when i am hurt i understand how difficult it is to smile,
when life pushes me hard ..i yearn to sit down for a while..
during the usual days....amidst the sad and the happy times..
i search for what i really want...i search for these "sometimes"....