However hard I try ..they come back to make me feel new each time..
However much I forget ...I am always reinstated into the search for the sublime..
I have some vision in my mind..I have some goal in my eyes..
A childishly mischievous..maturely rebellious passion that an outer calm belies
A haunting sketch of the shape of a dream in a blur
An all-governing emotion to which I completely surrender..
A quest..a journey ...an unknown destination
A step...a pause....an effort towards disambiguation
A mirage ...that enamors me since forever
A strange..eerie..sense of a beautiful possibility in a never
I cannot explain..I do not know
The what and why of it all..as my boat the winds row..
sometimes I forget..this bigger picture I see
and then again it comes back ...hurling questions at me..
I know just this..that I do not belong..
I have to carve in conviction..the words of my own song
I have to judge only myself..and be my special friend.
I have to find you through this dream..I just have to comprehend..
To remind me again and again...you throw the charms once more.
I regret having lost sight of you...I regret my ignorance of what is in store..
But when I know that you are there...
love , anger, tears and smiles..all of mine to share..
Then I am ready to struggle and find my meaning
my steps prepared to register in each day..a new beginning
Just to let you know..some thoughts are painful..
others plain distracting..but some.. purely beautiful...
my past visits me sometimes..just to blow off some sand..
I let the strewn sand just be..I neither question nor demand..
and..then..this sight comes unannounced ...and wakes me from this thoughtful sleep
I break away from the shackles of the negative..for a look into the real deep..
A voice calls me..a picture wants to be painted..
A road beckons me.... reality secretly urges to be tainted..
just the right thought..just the right devotion
honest true sacred...just the right emotion..
I know I still cannot fathom the depth ..as the empty pages I peruse..
But each day...I live with a beautiful solitude..in companionship of an undefinable muse
it elevates me beyond myself..it urges me look ahead
it binds all my restlessness magically..into a single thread..
Bind me through all my days..never leave me feeling insecure
With all the strength and conviction you lend me..I know there is more I can endure..
even after I am gone long
color everything the way you paint my world..
with the shades of beauty you bring along..
May I never lose sight of me and you,
May all my vows to myself I never undo
A equanimity to govern me..a strong passion to its behest
a little gratitude each day..and a purpose to invest
for the enchanting realm which a half baked persistence of thought takes me to..
I am grateful for all the inexplicable definitions the indefinite imbue..
For long struggles and victories in lands to which I have never been
My gratitude for the bewitching trance of a dream never seen.