AT THE END OF THE DAY.....

the smell of tea just made..the entire process of making it....
the day and my optimism about it...the mastered art of faking it...

the type-written words...i can still read the handwriting,
it will be a busy day..i will still miss something...

i look in the crowd...searching ..
in my ears the sound that never was...yearning...

my eyes are moist....somewhere it rains.....
i smile to a stranger..the tear stains...

i match my footsteps with the rhythm of a memory....
i hold myself close to me.....yet thoughts and dreams wander free....

i write some words..i forget the meanings...
i remember them so well..the hundred little things....

i untie what never was bound....
i imagine someone and turn around...
i talk to flowers that i can't pluck or touch even..
i give a thoughful smile to the setting sun......


i wait for a knock..for footsteps and a voice...
it constantly irritates me.....the machine's humming noise...

i learn..to talk to myself..and try to feel okay and nice...
but the pleasure of hearing you speak..this conversation denies...

the more people i see...the more i know..
that me and myself..to a few i completely owe...
how much...i want..my corner of the shore..
i wait..in anticipation..at the open door...

cautious steps ......the bend i often forget...
eaten alone quietly...that meal i regret....

but then....this realization is so precious ...
slowly the cloudy sky clears...
one day...someday....i will write again this way...
when not in memories but in the present my thoughts will play...
the journey of anticipation.....now my steps are faster ...
the breathing is heavier...but still i don't bother....

along this road..straight ahead...the "destination on the way"...
i will wait right there...with some thoughts..."at the end of the day".........